Thursday, January 22, 2004

 
Loose slips sink ships?
Or: A K-Lo class submarine?
Or: "Don't say 'Everybody Bang Chung tonight' around Maury Povich!"
Or: "YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATS!"

Bad day already -just got up from a nap and just *had* to scan the Corner...
Hey, I came up with "Everybody bang Chung tonight" *years* before that "young pup"
Jonah Goldberg's doesn't-scan "Everybody have Bang Chung tonight." What's worse though, is realizing that I've read his "fair Jessica" many times before recognizing that as a phrase from *Dune.* Envious of his success(and agreeing with nearly everything the s.o.b. writes apart from *some* of his stuff on immigration), I'd love to see the young er, whippersnacker morph into something resembling Baron Harkonnen. And if he's bested by some loathsome leftist "Dorc" on television, I'll indulge in a little *frodoschade.*
Time to relax, dial it back, and daydream..............Jonah is on the "Maury Povich Show" as he is told by the host after he opens an envelope, "Jonah, you *are* the father!" Later, at the Goldberg mansion, while Connie and Jessica bake cookies in the kitchen, Maury & Jonah kick back on the "Big Comfy Couch" and.... ARRRRRRGGHHHHH!...a truly horrible and vast image out of "Spiritus [Al] Bundy" arises: One fishes for his "sandworm" and the other scratches his "Maury eel." Oh no! They're turning around and I'm "MOONSTRUCK!"
Now, what what were the words to the Dino soundtrack in that movie?.....
"When an eel nips your heel,
And the pain makes you reel,
It's a Morey!"
........sinking fast.....
Yo! Muse! Git yo ass back down here. I ain't done wit' you yet, Bitch! Down, down, dragging her down...
I suppose John Derbyshire gave away no secrets with respect to anti-sub warfare and I trust that I'm not doing so when I recall things told to me by a cousin who used to fly sub-hunting P3s. Those suckers weren't "short on lofty" and the long flights made bathroom facilities a necessity.(I *don't* want to know how it's done on one or two holer fighter-bombers when detouring around France en route to Middle Eastern targets.)The toilet seats famously cost something like $800, but what is not generally known is that ('cordin' to cuz') *they didn't work*.
One of the lamer uses made here of the *Pinnacle* video editing program involved splicing together the scene from *Das Boot* where the captain orders the playing of a record with a similar one from *The Enemy Below,* and then adding the soundtrack of "Sub-Mission" by the Sex Pistols:
"I'm on a submarine mission for you baby
I feel the way you were going
I picked you up on my TV screen
I feel you under current flowing

Submission going down down
dragging me down
Submission I can't tell ya
what I found

You've got me pretty deep baby
I can't figure out your watery love
I got to solve your mystery
You're sitting it out in heaven above

For there's a mystery
Under the sea
Under the water
cos it's a secret

Submission falling down down under the sea
I wanna drown drown under the water
going down down under the sea..."

It's a catchy tune, and like "Amore," well-suited for whistling, though my family doesn't seem to agree.
I wonder if the Navy still keeps wymyn off submarines(for the long hauls, not the ones where civilians can get to help sink a Japanese fishery training vessel). Given the necessary sacrifices in hygiene(remember the classic yuk about the captain announcing the changing of underware?), it's probably just as well if they haven't.
Nice to see some remembrance of the successful defence of Rorke's Drift on the Corner today. The courage of the defenders was remarkable given their knowledge that hundreds of British soldiers had been wiped out by the Zulu on the previous day. I've got both a VHS and DVD version of the movie "Zulu." I'm still looking for the hard-to-find Director's Edition that restores a song by Michael Caine after the discussion of the "butcher's bill" for the battle: "Hey Mister Tally Man, tally Isandhlwana........."
Gotcha.