Wednesday, November 10, 2004

 
"Body Heat"
Or: "El C4"?
Or: "Ramallah Deadquarters"?

Having had one wife who was an attorney no more makes me an attorney than having a Jewish one now makes me a Jew, so I'm waiting for others to come up with clever stuff(oh-what the hell...)about Arafat's Last Will & Intifada...
Given that Israel has consented to the location of final headquarters for Yasser on the "West Bank," have there been toasts of, "Next year in Ramallah!"?
And does his will provide for the deathstyle to which "his" Palestinians have become accustomed?
France is not known to take kindly to overflights by U.S. jets, but do we have satellites capable of thermal imaging that could determine if the Chairman has "assumed room temperature"?
And speaking of "Body Heat,"(William Hurt, Kathleen Turner 1981)is it too much(or too "cute")to hope that if Arafat hoped to bequeath war against Israel in perpetuity, that this would mean that in some kozmik sense, that he croaks "intestate."
Leaving the celestial legal spheres for another flight of film fancy, one wonders if Arabfat's(granted AIDS may have wasted the waist of dis guy who wasted his life and "wasted" so many innocents)handlers who may be keeping him in stasis(not to be confused with keeping a *Stasi* bodyguard), could be planning to prop up his body in order to give the appearance of being alive ala Charlton Heston near the conclusion of "El Cid." -Though I don't think that the Mossad would allow his bomb-laden biohazard of a corpse to ride into Jerusalem on an ass around Pesach(or Easter as an outreach to Arab Christians).
Oh, and one more issue to be headdressed, er addressed: There's no truth to the rumor of a remake of the 1953 classic starring Victor Mature -titled "The Tablecloth".