Friday, December 31, 2004

 
Chi-Chi-Chicom Pet

Worst NRO 2005 Christmas Gift?

William F. Buckley, strapped for cash after impoundment of his yacht(just inside the three-mile limit) by the DEA, announced the marketing through NRO of "Ilya Pets," busts of the Russian writer, Ehrenburg, covered entirely in asphalt(1). Plugging his ware during a hard-hitting interview, Mr. Buckley was taken to task by Bill O' Reilly-
B.O.:-"No disrespect intended, Mr. Ambassador(2), and I'm trying to be fair here, but I've been watering this thing for a week now--And how can I put this? -It looks like we've got "The No-Growth Zone."
WFB: "Well, one day, cracks will appear in that concrete, and in those cracks, grass will grow."
B.O.: "'Concrete!?' This is clearly asphalt, Mr. Ambassador. How could I endorse your product if you can't get your facts straight. And even if something does crop up, how would we *know* that it's *grass*?"
WFB: "*You* smoke it. *You* decide."

In a related post, National Review's John "Yuan" Derbyshire reported that the PRC has begun shipping units of the "Let A Hundred Flowers Bloom Kit," which include a sculpture of "Chairman Mao" covered in "night soil." Instructions advise cutting off the blossoms("heads")as soon as possible, but caution that a second crop may not appear for a decade or two.
And, finally - Jonah Goldberg has promised that the long-awaited NRO "scavenger hunt" will begin in 2005. The first leg of "Secret Chambers" are said to involve clues on microfilm hidden in a hollowed-out pumpkin......


1. I remember it as "asphalt," as apparently does Steve Hayward, although other Googled sources suggest "concrete."
2. Like "Mr. President," once an ambassador to the UN; always an ambassador to the...well, I *would* love to see him re-appointed -especially if the UN were moved to Brussels or Pyongyang -with of course, guarantees that some Gore Vidal or other couldn't have him arrested for "war crimes" or "fascism."

Best,
Reactionry
nromirror@aol.com
nromirror.blogspot.com