Wednesday, December 01, 2004

 
Steyn, Sullivan, Stones, Sociobiology and Spearpoints
Or: Make Mine Musk Ox
Or: Flint is not just a city in Michigan

Jonah doesn't "have time" to discuss sociobiology this morning, and I shouldn't take time allotted for catch-up on sleep, but will attempt to dash off a crude summary of "conservative"(is there any other kind?*)sociobiology -something which most of the NRO writers could probably do in their sleep.(this might also be true of Andrew Sullivan, who, having heard the siren song of "Losing My Respiration" has now got his REM back)
Boys will be boys-competitive and prone to playing war games and so on. "Liberals"(consider quotes present around that word when used here)of course(consider "of course" to be in every subsequent sentence)try to deny this and quash all manifestations of it in all public and private spheres.(Did ancient liberal cavemen try to prevent youngsters from pretending that sticks were, uh, sticks?)Conservatives acknowledge these traits while they strive to tame and channel the little(and not so little)*momsers* with organized athletics, academic competition, Smith's "Invisible Hand," churches, all sorts of "little platoons," etc., etc.(Liberals, most without knowing quite why, tend to favor other policies which actually promote the breeding and conditioning of hyper-competitive, hyper-violent super-predators.-keeping them out of jail, preventing peaceful citizens from defending themselves against the predators-and providing for the welfare of the children sired by said predators.) And women, as well as older(probably about 30 years old for most of our ancestors)men are given important roles in civilizin' them youngins. Women(and their shotgun or club-toting relatives)given their limited number of eggs(in contrast to the gazillions of lil' soldiers in the loins of men), long and somewhat debilitating pregnancies, and the needs of the slow-to-mature human child, have an interest in the civilizing institution of marriage. Women are, furthermore(more about fur later), genetically disposed to choosing mates who are not only clean and reverent, but also brave and strong enough to beat off other males(the other sense of that phrase suggests that the sexual inclinations of an Andrew Sullivan could be a relatively high expression or load of genes encoding for a survival strategy coming into play when survival(and with it the chance for eventually having a chance for mating with a female however half-hearted or brief the coupling)depends upon currying the favor or tolerance of a stronger alpha-male or males-and of course there is the old "male-bonding" thing-good for ties useful in war and so on), kill game, and who give evidence of skill in gathering, shaping, and using rocks. And in *giving* rocks 'n stuff. Although now uncommon in the West, much of that giving surely involved the family of sought-after females. -"Oooooo! Look, father, see what Grog has brought us! That hunk of mammoth will feed us for a week! And that fur coat! It's to die for! What? Grog, I'm *so* sorry that your friend, Magog, *did* die in the hunt. And Father, just *look* at these Clovis spear points! And no, Father, I know that you're proud, but we *do* need them. They're what you and my brothers have wanted for a long time. No, Mother, it's not a limestone knock-off. And no, Grandfather, it's *not* Solutrean; No offence, but Solutrean is so *yesterday*. What, Grog? There's more?!? You *shouldn't* have! Just look at this hide-scrapper, Mother! (whispers:You *will* take it, Mother; you've worn your teeth to practically nothing, and I'm *sick* of Father always threatening to take you for a one-way walk in the woods.)Grog, I don't know *how* to than-wha?-you've been saving this for last? (unwraps a fur bundle)Oh - my - primitive Deity! Look at the size of that rock! (shows it all around) Just look at that *divine* flint! I am *so* tired of having to start fires with two sticks! (listens to Grog whispering in her ear)Oh, no, Grog. What you just said was *not* stupid. Everybody, Grog said he hoped the flint would spark a fire in my heart. Grog made a metaphor! And Father, Grog wants to talk to you alone now. (whispers to Mother again: Mother, I'm so excited! I think that Grog is going to "club the question." Now, Mother, hold your tongue; what eligible bachelor do we know who *hasn't* murdered somebody. And remember what you said how you felt when *you* were young: "Bad, bad boys make me feel so good." And no, I'm not interested in my cousin who spends all day making pictograms. Our children would *starve.* And I just *know* that I can change Grog. Yes, his place *is* a sty, but I'll make his animals sleep outside. And I'll make him take out the garbage at least 10 steps from the cave. I could do *so* much with his semi-permanent home. I *know* that you hate those scalps(especially your uncle's)that he keeps hanging around, but we've already discussed that, and he promises to keep them in his den!"
Ahem. Where was I? Derb, myself, and others seem to be objecting to the apparent tendency of some women to yield to the attentions of men who have no prospect of being reformed -or becoming a responsible parent.( cynic might alledge that this is based on the sentiment expressed by someone singing in a MTV-type video about a bride at a wedding being just another someone he wouldn't be getting.) Who among us hasn't thought upon surfing onto say, the Maury Povich show and hearing some dirtbag say something like, "If the tests show that I am the father, I'll do the right thing. I'll be there. And do what's right," -"Yeah, right. It's *me*: John Q. Taxpayer who'll pick up most of the tab for feeding, clothing, sheltering, and jailing your spawn of the gutter."
Not much going on NRO today, so skimmed through a Oct 31, 2004 Mark Steyn column. Repeating his pre-election dig at Kerry is something like flogging a dead horse(speaking of which, the gustatory habits of the french now seem less disgusting than that of the chinese), but the following excerpt is illustrative of why I deeply envy the guy:

"Sullivan's big idea is that the best way to force the Democrats to get serious about the war is to put them in charge of it. That's a helluva leap of faith -- and, in John Kerry's case, it's at odds with a 30-year track record of not being serious on the Cold War, Grenada, Central America, the first Gulf War, etc. As Dr. Laura would advise, you should never marry a man in hopes of reforming him."

*I skimmed through-what was it? -"A Darwinian Left" last year(?)and found it to be about as substantial as *Airplane's* book of Jewish sports heroes.